Concerning Your Fox of a Grandmother...

Margie,

First of all, you complain about your name all the time. It is not my fault that your mother (spawn of your 20-something boy dating grandmother) decided to name you so horrifically. I told you that changing your name to Gertrude or Prunella might do wonders for your image.

As for Granny the Jock-boy Slayer, I think that's awesome. How many 80-year olds can work it with a 22-year old?! You better hope you got those genes! Speaking of that, how is your love life? I'm certainly glad to hear that you aren't back with that idiot again. I bet you and Carlos would hit it off... expecially since you suggested shoving that menorah up his poop chute. I think he's into S&M. Just a guess.

Anyway, I'll be home soon! I can't wait. I need to get back to studying for exams. I hate these things. Love ya (not as much as I love Granny... OW, OW!)...

Blake